Community

“I found it hard to realize divine things. I was more tried with desires after the world, than for two years past… the prospect of leaving all the comforts and the communion of saints… weighed heavy on my spirit. My heart was almost ready to break.” ~ Henry Martyn, missionary to India in 1806 (Let the Nations Be Glad, p95)

Somehow, this excerpt from Martyn’s journal, as melancholy as it is, I find so encouraging! Knowing that the thoughts, emotions, and struggles I am facing are nothing new gives me a renewed strength. I am not alone. People have undergone the same things (and honestly, way worse – no Skype, Facebook, email ahh!), and did so with joy knowing it was for the sake of the gospel. Despite the fact that this was written by a man over 200 years ago, nothing much has changed. I miss the "comforts" (hot showers, soft bed, mom’s cooking) and “the communion of saints” – my family and friends!!!  I understand his heart here so clearly.

When I was home I told a lot of people that the hardest thing about this time has been a lack of companionship. I deeply missed living alongside community and having someone to share my life with. I desired someone who would understand and encourage me in moments of difficulty and discouragement. I needed a Barnabus!

HE HAS ANSWERED THAT PRAYER! Threefold! (God is that awesome)! Two weeks after coming back to Asia, God delivered me a new roommate. Sheri is a fifty year old, widowed nurse, and is gifted in all the ways I am lacking. She is an amazingly strong woman who is teaching me what it looks like to walk with the Lord in every stage and season of life.  What an awesome example of a prayer intercessor and it has been awesomely refreshing to learn from someone who is content in her singleness (as much as I love my girls back home, sometimes I think we make it harder on each other!)!  AND, even as I write this, Beth and Brian, a young missionary couple who served on the World Race last year, are moving into Carl and Laurie’s apartment next door (until they return at the end of the month). Friends and Mentors all under my roof! Thank you Jesus. <3

This year has taught me a couple things about community. #1 – Ultimately, God is enough. When everything else is stripped away, and all that is left is the Lord, you find yourself desperate for Him, and He will answer - He is more than enough, and will be faithful to satisfy you completely in Himself.  He never wants us to feel alone or discouraged, and He is a constant companion, an intimate friend, someone who knows my heart better than I even do, and He promises comfort and unconditional love. 

But… #2 – We are meant to live in community and I can honestly say that I value my family, my church family, and my friends more than I ever have in my life. There are no words to properly display how blessed I feel to be a part of something so good. I miss you all very much, and am so thankful for every one of you. Thank you for your love, your prayers, your encouragement. You are infinitely valuable and I am grateful for you beyond what I can express.

Love <3

To & From America ~ Processing

Before I even begin, a special shout out to my sister and to Justin Janes who seriously made a HUGE impact in me being able to process when I was in America and afterwards as well. God is doing awesome things through both of you. Thank you, I am so grateful!

Adjusting between one culture and another is something that is hard to explain unless you yourself have done it. After living in a developing country for a week, you find yourself changed (I definitely did after serving in Haiti last October). Returning after six months, you question who you are…  I constantly found myself wondering if the changes were a temporary thing that were a part of readjusting to my environment, and how much of me had been changed forever.

Being in America in July and August (sorry, I know that was a while ago now), was definitely a vacation to be remembered. Two weddings in different cities, (a bridesmaid both times), and a family reunion at the coast all tightly scheduled into a few weeks. Not to mention trying to see all my friends, have time for church presentations, and eating as much Chipotle as possible in 30 days. J The day I landed in America I had a hair appointment and a dress fitting to prepare for the wedding I would be in three days later (thankfully this one was in Portland).  Everything worked out so well though, and ran smoothly. It was great though to see so many people though at one event!

The next wedding, a week later in Seattle – everything seemed to be going wrong. The dresses and tuxes came in hours before the ceremony in the wrong color, the hotel lost reservation information, and people got parking tickets for having their ticket stub on the wrong window… And all this for a couple that had been engaged forever and a bride who is CrAzY organized (love her to death)! In the end everything worked out, the night was beautiful, and it forced me to sink-or-swim being put back into situations where multi-tasking is a way of life.

When I finally got to the week of our family reunion, I was ready to just CHILL. The first 48 hours at our family’s beach house I did not even go down to the beach! I was reveling in the fact that I did not have anything to do but sleep and read and eat – oh the blessedness of vaca J.

When all was said and done, at the end of my 30 days home, I felt refreshed, re-energized, encouraged, and ready to pour out to the children and staff here in Asia. Thank God for summer froyo nights and such an unbelievable group of people I have in my life!!! My friends, family, and church community had brought me back to the place where I was excited to be a part of the ministry working over here. 

And then I came back... My first few weeks were processing and re-adjusting all over again! This time alone though which made it harder. I thought that after being here for six months, I would just be able to jump back in. How ignorant! Not sure what made me think that, since it was not that way in America, where I had lived basically my whole life…  I had sped back up to an American pace, and had adjusted to spending every waking moment with my friends and family. There are definitely days when I wish I could combine the best of both worlds…

It wasn’t long though before I was able to step back into old routines, to let the joy of rambunctious children supercede the rest of my day, and delight myself in the purpose of this cause. I am being taught so much in such a short amount of time, and regardless of what comes next, I am excited to see where He is leading!

Hoping, filled with joy, and loving the adventure… <3