Saying Goodbye... My message to the kids

Tomorrow I asked to give a short message at church as an opportunity to say goodbye to everyone before I leave on Tuesday. The following is that message (in English):

***
How has it been almost a year!? I am going to do my best to say all of this without crying, but you can pray for me quietly right now that I can stay strong.

My time at Remember Nhu has changed my life forever. I grew up in a Christian church and had a lot of Christian friends, just like all of you do now. When I left home and went to college I wanted to make new friends, and find my own identity, separate from my family. After only a few months, I stopped going to church and started getting into some bad things. For the next few years, I was not a very good person, and I had a bad heart. My life was empty. Then, thankfully, God called to me. I heard him speak to me that I needed to move back home and change my life. I didn’t deserve the fact that He saved me, it was pure grace. That was four years ago. I started going to church again, I started reading the Bible everyday, and something changed. I was SO excited about God. I was learning to let the Holy Spirit guide my life… He was teaching me how to be a better person, how to love people. I had a good job, great friends, a church where I really felt God’s presence.

And then last year, He told me to come here. It was a completely different plan than what I expected, but I knew that it was the desire of my heart to come. In college, I had studied International Business, and the idea that I could use my mind to help God’s Kingdom was so humbling. I felt like he confirmed that to me with the verse Psalm 37:4-6. It was the desire of my heart to be here, and you were the cause that I wanted to shine. I don’t know why God chose me to come here to be with you, but I am SOOO thankful that He did.

I didn’t really know what to expect when I got here, I knew a little bit about you, but only from the Remember Nhu website, and I had never been to Asia before. In a very short time, I fell in love with this place. I love all my girls, and now my boys. In my heart, you are mine! I love the community and the life that you have on this property.

I want you to know that I believe with ALL of my heart and my mind, that God CHOSE each and every one of you to be here. He CHOSE YOU. He chose me, even though I definitely don’t deserve it. He knows all of our thoughts – good and bad. He knows all the things we do – good and bad. And he chooses us anyways. Psalm 139: 1-6. Later I want you to read the whole chapter and know that this is about you! You are here because God has a special plan for your life. He loves you so much and He has brought you to this home, to this family for a reason.

My first few months here were amazing, but also hard sometimes. It is difficult to travel to a different country, not understand the language, and not feel like you have anyone that really understands your heart. But God taught me in that time to not rely on people, even the best people, the most loving people, are in the end sometimes going to fail you. God will never fail you. He will never leave you. He taught me in way this year that was so personal, so close to my heart. He was truly the friend that walked alongside me every step of the way. I pray that you experience Jesus that way. With Jesus, you can never be alone. He will fill your heart, and provide you with joy and hope in every circumstance. He loves us all so much.

I have been so thankful to God for bringing me here. You have taught me so much about what it means to trust God. You have taught me what gratefulness and unconditional love looks like. You have taught me to be a good steward of what I have been given. You have taught me that there is family in Jesus no matter where you are or what language you speak.

In the next few days I am going to Cambodia to spend a few days with Nhu before I go back to America. Please pray for Nhu, I know that she has been missing everyone here and is feeling lonely. After that I know that God wants me to go back to America for a while. I am excited to see my family and my friends, and people from my church. I have missed them so much. But I tell all of them, that it is so hard for me to leave here! I am still not sure what I will do when I get home, but I know that God knows. He has taught me, even more this year, to trust him when I don’t know what to expect or have a plan.

In that, I would really appreciate your prayers. That you would ask God to help direct me when I get back to America about what to do next. I need to find a job, and get used to living in America again. And I know that many of you are already praying for my husband to come – keep it up :). I have told some of you, but I will say it again. I might be old for not being married – 26 in Asia I know is SO old. But I promise all of you who are young and want to get married that it is worth the time to wait for a good man (or woman for the boys). I am waiting for a man who loves Jesus. Not who just says he is a Christian, but who really believes and loves with all his heart. I am waiting for a man who is a leader, and is strong, and who will support my heart for missions (and hopefully he will be handsome). I trust God that if He wants me to be married, he can help that man find me. I hope and pray that each of you would trust in the Lord and wait as well. It will be worth it and I will be praying for you too :)!

I feel comfortable saying this to you because you have become my family this year. You are my parents, my sisters, my brothers, just as real as my actual family in America. When I am here, I miss them. When I am there, I will miss you! It makes me so excited for Heaven when we will all be together again. We will all be together. We will worship and love together and our different culture and language will never be a problem.

Whether I see you again before Heaven or not is up to Jesus. I will be praying that He allows me to come back at some time, and I hope you will pray too. But you must know that I will always think of you in my prayers – for the rest of my life. Even fifty years from now, when we are all old, and I am really old… I will still think of you, because you changed my life. You have each touched my heart. Every single person in this room holds special memories for me, and every time I think of you, I will pray for you.

Ephesians 3:20-21.

I love you forever. <3

Dare to Dream... Again

Up until a week or two ago I was 100% unsure of what my life was going to look like when I return home to the USA just before Christmas. No car, no job, no idea of what direction I want to take with my life. My ideas about what I want my life to look like have been radically re-shaped this year and I know that it will probably take me a little while to transition back into American culture. In many ways, I am a walking contradiction when I think about the different things I want.

As someone who is a planner, and never really steps into a season before it has been fully planned out (I had my job at Enterprise lined up six months before I graduated) – I have had a strange peace about going home and having no idea what I am doing with my life. People may say that I am a ‘bum’ or that I am being irresponsible – but in my eyes, if there is one thing God has taught me this year, it is to trust Him in the unknown.

I have had a couple different ideas brewing in my mind of possible things that I can start looking into when I get back, but nothing concrete – all just potential potentials J. In some ways that has been good because it has allowed me to keep my focus here – to live in the moment with my kids while I still have time to do so.

THEN… last week I was re-reading a card that a friend from home sent me. She wrote: “You are an incredible example to me of someone living life by faith and daring to dream big with God.” The first time I read that, I had glossed over it as a nice thought from a good friend. The second time I read it – it sunk into my heart. I realized that I was not living up to this! I am here because I allowed myself to dream in the LORD last year and He moved in ways I would have previously thought impossible. Somewhere along the road this year, I had lost sight of that lesson, and had forgotten to trust God with things that seemed out of my reach. That morning, I began letting myself dream again - some reoccurring, some new or re-shaped.

I am now SO excited about some of the things that are in the works over the next few months. Lord Willing, I will be going on three short-term missions trips (Cambodia, Haiti, and back here to Thailand), and will be volunteering for the Missions Admin team at Solid Rock. I am excited to be based in America and plan to soak up time with friends, family, and church community. But I know that my heart still lies in international missions. The idea of being at home is energizing, but the idea of still being sent out is electrifying.

He is reviving me all over again and showing me that He can give me more than I can ever ask or imagine if I let HIM work out the details and stop worrying about how it's not possible. I find myself so blessed to serve a Master who delights in our joy and longs to bring glory to himself by giving us the desires of our heart, when our hearts are aligned with His. SOOO awesome ~ I feel so spoiled!

I still clearly don’t have everything figured out (a car and a job are still major prayer requests), but I know where my heart lies. I have direction regarding what is important to me, and everything else will just be details, and will probably change shape anyways as I re-transition back into life in the US.

                  

Trusting Him, and excited to continue to step out in faith daring to dream…

ThAnKsGivInG

I like food… a lot. Most people know this about me. Food is one of the things I miss about home (all of you that talk about Chipotle and post pictures of the food you made for dinner on your Facebook status’ kill me…).
This year – Thanksgiving in Thailand is still about food J and thanks to some of the other local missionaries we had all the traditional dishes!!!...

But more than that, I also want it to be marked by thankfulness. The girls in our homes call Thanksgiving “Thanks God Day” since clearly they don’t really care about pilgrims and turkey on the other side of the world. Everyone in this home, myself included, has so much to be thankful for. 

 

A House Full of Amazing Girls

(photo credit to Heather Hurt, Calluna Photography - www.callunaphotograpy.com)

The fact that my passion is my job!

 

A LORD who delights in giving us the desires of our heart

(photo credit to Heather Hurt, Calluna Photography - www.callunaphotograpy.com)

Precious Faces

 

Sunrises in Paradise

(photo credit to Heather Hurt, Calluna Photography - www.callunaphotograpy.com)

Solid Rock - A Jesus Church - a fellowship that is after the heart of God, and has changed mine <3

Lovely, Wonderful Friends

Not to mention REDEEMING LOVE <3, my FAMILY & FRIENDS back home, 

and the other million things I don't have space to post...

Two Homes in Opposite Worlds

Ten months into my time here and I finally truly feel that this is home. Driving a moto on the left side of the street is normal, my Thai language skills are relatively strong and I can hold my own in conversation, I have adjusted to the food and the weather, I don’t think twice about most of the cultural things that were originally so foreign.

As I have been feeling more settled, I have also had more opportunity to develop deeper relationships with the high school girls and some of the Thai staff members. I have loved having conversations with them about life and the Lord and our struggles. I love talking to the girls about what it looks like to wait patiently for a godly husband - To hope and trust that God has a plan for their marriage and never to settle. I love talking to the Thai staff about different things we are learning and going through. The relationships that I have are rooted and strong, and I love being able to share my heart with the people I live with. AND NOW IM SUPPOSED TO GO HOME!?

I have so many mixed emotions about leaving in a month. On one hand, I am SO! excited to spend the holidays with my family and to see my friends, and to be in church community – I have missed that incredibly. And on the other hand – how the heck am I supposed to leave these kids, who are now MY kids, and the staff here who have become my family and friends. This is my home too!

No resolution on this post because that is kinda where I’m at right now… searching, praying, having a home in two worlds…

My BoYz!!!

As of October, we have a new boys home on our property! We have been waiting with eager expectancy for their arrival and within a very short time, I have just as much love for these boys as I do for the girls I have been with all year. Something about boys tugs at my heartstrings…

There are eight young men that now call Remember Nhu their home, and they range in age from 6 to12. Several of them were previously being sponsored by our organization to help pay for their basic needs as we waited to have a physical home they could come to. It is so obvious that they are overjoyed to be here and that they are so thankful to be in this environment. What a blessing to provide for these little guys!!!

(Photo credit on this picture to Heather Hurt, Calluna Photography - www.callunaphotography.com)

When I returned from Phuket/Koh Samui in early November, I was sitting at church and one of the boys (9 years old) walked in, saw me, LIT up, and ran over to give me a hug. He asked to sit by me and told me that he was so excited because he thought I had gone home with the Solid Rock team - melted my heart!!! This little man is so precious! Everyday he comes home and starts his homework without being asked “so that he can play soccer as much as possible after dinner” and consistently tells me that I have pretty fingernails. Hahaha ~ Lil flirt J

I have loved getting to know them individually. We have been playing soccer, digging in the dirt for bugs, and running around etc… – yay boy stuff! “snakes and snails and puppy dog tails… that’s what little boys are made of ” ~ hahaha. I honestly could care less what we do though, I am completely wrapped around their fingers!

In a short time I have had so many memorable experiences with these guys! Between taking them to pro soccer games with some of the other staff members, and fireworks nights (for those of you who know me well, you know that this is one of my favorite things ever), I find myself repeatedly counting my blessings. What a joy to spoil them. It blesses my heart to see how grateful they are - so in awe of what they have been given. It is SO FUN to show them that they are loved, they are cherished, and that they do have a hope for the future. The fact that I get to share in their story is a blessing in itself. 

I’m in love with all of them…  <3

(Photo credit on this picture to Heather Hurt, Calluna Photography - www.callunaphotography.com)

The Best of Both Worlds!

*Note: Check out a picture collage that goes with this post 

@ www.callunaphotography.com!!!

October 24th through November 4th – a team of 18 people from Solid Rock (my church in Oregon) came to Thailand to serve with Remember Nhu on a short-term missions trip. They came to learn the culture, to help work on our new property, and to love on all the kids here. What they didn’t know was that I had been anticipating their arrival for months!
The idea that some of my friends, and a team from my home were going to be HERE was like a dream come true – the best of both worlds!!! The first few days that they were here, I was literally giddy. I couldn’t sleep, and I was reveling…. Being able to have deep conversations (in English!), doing group devotionals and worship time – it was all so refreshing. I think I probably told everyone a billion times how I felt so blessed to have them here.

The longer that they were here, the more encouraged I was to see their heart for this ministry, and these children. In a matter of two weeks, I had a group of people who understood a glimpse of my life, who shared my heart for this place and these people. In a selfish way, I have been so thankful to finally feel known. To have people who have seen what my life looks like first hand, and not who have just heard about it. To have a group of people from my community at home who now care just as much about “my kids” as I do. What joy…

God is definitely moving in this ministry. He is upholding the cause of the poor and the orphan- rescuing His children from injustice, and it is so fun to be a part of the work that He is doing! It amazes me how He calls us each individually to partner with Him in bringing the Kingdom of Heaven into the here and now - so humbling to be a part of this story.

  

(Pics of dancing at a village &  playing 'heads-up seven-up')

Solid Rock has been teaching a series lately on what it looks like to be salt and light to the world based on the verses in Matthew 5:13-16. This is what it looks like… Living on mission together - encouraging one another, and fighting together for a common cause. This season I have had a taste of what that is like and it is addicting. We are made to live that way and I pray that I may continue to do that every day of my life – even as it changes shape and season.

Check out the Team’s Blog (4 posts total) with their thoughts during the trip…
http://www.hearthecry.com/category/cambodia-thailand/

Community

“I found it hard to realize divine things. I was more tried with desires after the world, than for two years past… the prospect of leaving all the comforts and the communion of saints… weighed heavy on my spirit. My heart was almost ready to break.” ~ Henry Martyn, missionary to India in 1806 (Let the Nations Be Glad, p95)

Somehow, this excerpt from Martyn’s journal, as melancholy as it is, I find so encouraging! Knowing that the thoughts, emotions, and struggles I am facing are nothing new gives me a renewed strength. I am not alone. People have undergone the same things (and honestly, way worse – no Skype, Facebook, email ahh!), and did so with joy knowing it was for the sake of the gospel. Despite the fact that this was written by a man over 200 years ago, nothing much has changed. I miss the "comforts" (hot showers, soft bed, mom’s cooking) and “the communion of saints” – my family and friends!!!  I understand his heart here so clearly.

When I was home I told a lot of people that the hardest thing about this time has been a lack of companionship. I deeply missed living alongside community and having someone to share my life with. I desired someone who would understand and encourage me in moments of difficulty and discouragement. I needed a Barnabus!

HE HAS ANSWERED THAT PRAYER! Threefold! (God is that awesome)! Two weeks after coming back to Asia, God delivered me a new roommate. Sheri is a fifty year old, widowed nurse, and is gifted in all the ways I am lacking. She is an amazingly strong woman who is teaching me what it looks like to walk with the Lord in every stage and season of life.  What an awesome example of a prayer intercessor and it has been awesomely refreshing to learn from someone who is content in her singleness (as much as I love my girls back home, sometimes I think we make it harder on each other!)!  AND, even as I write this, Beth and Brian, a young missionary couple who served on the World Race last year, are moving into Carl and Laurie’s apartment next door (until they return at the end of the month). Friends and Mentors all under my roof! Thank you Jesus. <3

This year has taught me a couple things about community. #1 – Ultimately, God is enough. When everything else is stripped away, and all that is left is the Lord, you find yourself desperate for Him, and He will answer - He is more than enough, and will be faithful to satisfy you completely in Himself.  He never wants us to feel alone or discouraged, and He is a constant companion, an intimate friend, someone who knows my heart better than I even do, and He promises comfort and unconditional love. 

But… #2 – We are meant to live in community and I can honestly say that I value my family, my church family, and my friends more than I ever have in my life. There are no words to properly display how blessed I feel to be a part of something so good. I miss you all very much, and am so thankful for every one of you. Thank you for your love, your prayers, your encouragement. You are infinitely valuable and I am grateful for you beyond what I can express.

Love <3

To & From America ~ Processing

Before I even begin, a special shout out to my sister and to Justin Janes who seriously made a HUGE impact in me being able to process when I was in America and afterwards as well. God is doing awesome things through both of you. Thank you, I am so grateful!

Adjusting between one culture and another is something that is hard to explain unless you yourself have done it. After living in a developing country for a week, you find yourself changed (I definitely did after serving in Haiti last October). Returning after six months, you question who you are…  I constantly found myself wondering if the changes were a temporary thing that were a part of readjusting to my environment, and how much of me had been changed forever.

Being in America in July and August (sorry, I know that was a while ago now), was definitely a vacation to be remembered. Two weddings in different cities, (a bridesmaid both times), and a family reunion at the coast all tightly scheduled into a few weeks. Not to mention trying to see all my friends, have time for church presentations, and eating as much Chipotle as possible in 30 days. J The day I landed in America I had a hair appointment and a dress fitting to prepare for the wedding I would be in three days later (thankfully this one was in Portland).  Everything worked out so well though, and ran smoothly. It was great though to see so many people though at one event!

The next wedding, a week later in Seattle – everything seemed to be going wrong. The dresses and tuxes came in hours before the ceremony in the wrong color, the hotel lost reservation information, and people got parking tickets for having their ticket stub on the wrong window… And all this for a couple that had been engaged forever and a bride who is CrAzY organized (love her to death)! In the end everything worked out, the night was beautiful, and it forced me to sink-or-swim being put back into situations where multi-tasking is a way of life.

When I finally got to the week of our family reunion, I was ready to just CHILL. The first 48 hours at our family’s beach house I did not even go down to the beach! I was reveling in the fact that I did not have anything to do but sleep and read and eat – oh the blessedness of vaca J.

When all was said and done, at the end of my 30 days home, I felt refreshed, re-energized, encouraged, and ready to pour out to the children and staff here in Asia. Thank God for summer froyo nights and such an unbelievable group of people I have in my life!!! My friends, family, and church community had brought me back to the place where I was excited to be a part of the ministry working over here. 

And then I came back... My first few weeks were processing and re-adjusting all over again! This time alone though which made it harder. I thought that after being here for six months, I would just be able to jump back in. How ignorant! Not sure what made me think that, since it was not that way in America, where I had lived basically my whole life…  I had sped back up to an American pace, and had adjusted to spending every waking moment with my friends and family. There are definitely days when I wish I could combine the best of both worlds…

It wasn’t long though before I was able to step back into old routines, to let the joy of rambunctious children supercede the rest of my day, and delight myself in the purpose of this cause. I am being taught so much in such a short amount of time, and regardless of what comes next, I am excited to see where He is leading!

Hoping, filled with joy, and loving the adventure… <3

MTV EXIT: Boybands & Benefit Booth

A few weeks ago I started looking into a local concert that was going to be held in Thailand as part of MTV’s ‘EXIT’ – 'End Exploitation and Trafficking' - campaign. I quickly realized this was going to be a HUGE event. They were predicting over 20,000 people in attendance and tickets were sold out. It would feature Super Junior M – one of the most popular bands in Asia along with a few other popular Thai groups, and its purpose was to raise awareness on the issue of human trafficking. The concert was five days away, so I sent off an urgent email to see if we could hold a booth to represent our cause at the venue.

Praise God, we got the last NGO spot! In 48 hours, some of the girls from a World Race team and I put together a benefit booth – complete with banners, info cards, a video, candy, prizes for a donation raffle, and we decided we would sell glow sticks! (What teenager cannot refuse a glow stick at a concert?) The booth looked awesome, but it had been raining hard all afternoon so unfortunately we did not have as many people stop by as we would have liked. 

As the concert started, and the rain continued to pour, we decided to take action. Several of us grabbed info cards, hooked some glow sticks around our necks, and went up to the gates where they were letting people in. We started handing out the flyers, talking to people, giving away candy, and selling glow sticks for 5B (about 20 cents each). We were the only organization near the front doors and we proceeded to hand out 1,000 info cards, sell almost 800 glow sticks and we had an AwEsOmE TiMe. The benefit concert was a perfect place to raise awareness and it felt great to be out there working to bring change.

As the night went on, even the security guards at the front were helping us, calling out prices on the glow sticks and letting us go in and out of the concert even though we didn’t have tickets. Check out SUPER JUNIOR M (if you skip ahead to 0:58 they start singing the chorus in english)!

All fun aside – this night was truly a blessing from God. I have no idea how we were able to pull everything together on such short notice and the exposure we got was just what we were looking for (despite the tropical monsoon). FUN & FRUITFUL J

The Exchanged Life

Summer! (well, at least Summer in the states – it has been cooler and rainier here). But, because many people are on break in the U.S. we have been especially busy. Back-to-back teams visiting, short-term interns, and a Bible Study with one of Carl’s long time mentors, Dr. John Geib. John is a phenomenal teacher and we have been going through one of his courses entitled, ‘Exchanging Life with the Word of Life.’

The staff here – both English speakers, and Thai natives, have been studying about five hours a week in class, and then going through various assignments on our own, and we have all commented about how influential this study has been on our faith. Realizing the gravity of allowing the Spirit to live and work in and through us, seeing Jesus as the ultimate example of someone who was led by the Spirit, and understanding the truth in that concept as we personally explore the Bible’s teachings has been incredible.

What amazing timing it has been for me! With a crazier schedule, now doing six hours of English study a day with Nhu, and me personally feeling the strain of time away from my support and community at home, it has been amazing to reflect on this, and to realize that nothing I do is really in my own power or strength. I technically “knew” this concept before, and I think it is something that many Christian churches teach, but I for one can say that I definitely did not dig deep enough into this to really understand what that meant in my life.

The love that I desire to radiate, the patience that I have been praying for, the discipline I am aiming at – all of that is not of me. And when I try to do it in my own strength, I fall so short and then get frustrated and try to struggle through it. How much easier it is to give it all to Him, and let Him work through us! But for some reason we just cannot give up the control. We cannot let go of our lives. We cannot concede everything to Him, and if we do – we ask for part of it back shortly thereafter! This study is teaching me to surrender everything daily – to ask Him to be my everything and to work through me in ways I am completely incapable of doing on my own. It changes everything…

John 14: 12-17

Back to Basics @ Bow and Boots

The last few days I have been staying at Bow and Boot’s house – the second children’s home on the property. Until now, I have been staying at the larger children’s home – which is a much nicer building and where R-Nhu typically houses guests and short-term interns.  With Nhu gone for a little while, I have had some extra time and it was important to me to spend some quality time with the girls who live at the other home. I have really bonded with the girls I live with, and naturally so – but I wanted to make sure that I really connect with the other girls and get to know them on a deeper level as well. They speak much less English, so I am really being pushed to use my Thai!

Living at the other house has been so fun and though the conditions are much more rough, I am loving spending time over there. Their house is simply big enough for their bunk beds and storage containers. They eat, do homework, and live the rest of the time in an open area under a grass roof. I am brushing my teeth in the mornings using water from the hose and a little cup because they do not have sinks. Showers, like at the other house, are cold and you use a bowl to scoop water out of a giant bucket (imagine garbage can that goes out at the street). It is definitely an adjustment to only be inside when I am sleeping (or working at the other house).

 

The girls literally melted my heart when I heard how excited they were that I was coming to bunk with them for the next week. I think I may need to make it a more regular occurrence during my time here. Despite their living conditions, these girls are happy and fun and smart and silly and I am sure I’m learning more from them than they are from me.  I know I’ve said it before, but what a joy to share my life with these girls and what a privilege it is to be a part of their story.

Another fun little treat has been sharing my evenings with a “toukay” (no idea what the English spelling of this word is). Toukays are lizards who, if they decide to bite you, lock their jaws, and do not let go until they are dead… literally. So…. We are kind of scared of them around here. Doesn’t sound like fun to me trying to kill a lizard whose jaws are locked onto my flesh! Well, we have a toukay living on the roof at the house. It frequently makes its homes in the framing and two nights ago I swear it was inside the pole a foot above my bunk. They make this gurgling sound and then literally say “toukay” – hence their name. Fun lil creatures…

On a more serious note, it has been nice also to separate my work and living spaces. Until now, I have been working in my room for the most part, so it is nice to divide these two parts of my life. I have been so much more focused all around! And now, when I leave my work – I literally am able to just leave it and turn my attention 100% to my family here.  With a lot of teams here for the U.S. summer months, I have needed to be more disciplined in how I am spending my time, and this has made it so much easier!

The World Race team here has also been a major blessing. (World Race = missionary organization that sends teams out to visit 11 countries in 11 months! www.theworldrace.org). I am absolutely loving getting to know this group of people, and they have been awesome enough to let me share in their worship and group devotional times – how I’ve missed that! A seriously transforming time and I am so excited with the way God is transforming my heart and my mind in the last few weeks. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2a)

<3 Blessed <3

The power in a voice... "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves" - Proverbs 31:8

“The LORD hears the needy and does not despise his captive people… For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help… I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy.”

(Psalm 69:33, Psalm 72:12, Psalm 140:12)

As part of my role here with Remember Nhu, I recently began working with a fundraising consultant from the U.S. who is teaching me a lot about business in an international non-profit environment. We have been talking a lot about different fundraising techniques/ideas, and one of things he told me really struck my heart.

Fundraising for a cause like R-Nhu is ultimately not about the money. It is about giving these children a voice. It is about saying for them what they are unable to say themselves.  If they themselves could tell people their stories and if people would stop for just a moment in their busy lives and listen, oh how we could change the world!

My precious little sisters, and the other children who share similar stories have cried out to the Lord – and HE HAS HEARD THEM. The Bible says that God will hear the cries of the needy and the oppressed. Remember Nhu is one of the ways he is answering their call. The verses from the Psalms that I have at the top of this post are reminders to myself that God loves for these young women more than I can possibly imagine.

I have been encouraged as I get to know my girls to be their voice, to tell their story, and let my life be a bridge to those back home. I love each and every one of these girls as my own sisters and I have a responsibility to them now to let their voice be heard. Their story is now interwoven into my story, and I will do my best to share their hearts, and their stories with the world.

One of my loves – Lidi’s story (*name changed for her protection):

Many of the children at Remember Nhu have stories that will reach into your heart. One of those children is Lidi. When Lidi was three-years old, both of her parents were put in prison to serve life sentences for drug trafficking.
At that time, Lidi was left on her own to be cared for by other members of her village. She was often responsible for herself, and lived “homeless” over the next two years old (aged 3-5). 

When she first came to our children’s home, she was very small (assumedly as a result of malnutrition), but also extremely independent for a five-year old. For the two years she was on her own, my sister had grown accustomed to doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. She is feisty and much too cute for her own good.  In the six months she has been here, I have already seen so much change in her. Under the close watch of her sisters, and houseparents she is quickly maturing and growing into an amazing young woman and I cannot wait to see what God has planned for her! At five years old, this girl is so charismatic, so playful, so amazingly full of life. I cannot imagine what her life would have been like if it weren't for God's intervention in her life through R-Nhu, but thankfully - I don't ever have to. :)

My girlies are all here now, and their lives will be forever changed. But there are others who still need to know they too have been heard. The girls who are already here need to be recognized, and loved, and prayed for – DESPERATELY prayed for.

Prayer Requests:

o   Salvation for the new girls who are learning about the Lord but haven’t decided yet whether or not they want to accept Christ

o   That they would each find their true identity in the Lord, knowing they are deeply loved and found beautiful

o   That they would encourage and keep each other accountable as they grow up amidst hardship

o   Protection and courage for our girls to live as a Christian in a Buddhist society – their families, friends, and schools are all stacked against them

o   That God would already be preparing God-fearing men to someday be their husbands and encourage them to continue to grow in their faith and live their whole life to the glory of God

o   That they would be a light within their own community and a witness to their own country

o   That people all over the world would continue to be changed, and affected by their story to the point that they would be willing to make a difference in their lives

"Normal Life"

Normal life - what does that even mean?

Life here has settled into "normalcy.” Despite my lack of American luxuries like air conditioning, hot showers, meals without rice, driving laws etc... life really is not that different than back home. People are still going grocery shopping (though usually at the open market instead of Safeway), running late, and working through relationships with each other. Teenage girls still think and talk about boys and hair and Facebook. Younger girls still play hand-clapping games, and build sandcastles in the dirt, and twirl around and dress-up. I am still addicted to coffee, enjoy a good book, and love girl talk with my friends back home.

I have set-up a routine for myself and adjusted to the slower pace of Thai time to the point that I rarely think about it anymore. And yet - I still feel as though the expectation I have for myself, and that I feel others have for me as a "missionary" is for something more adventurous, more daring, more holy than “normal life.”

I am learning that God lives every bit as much in the "normal" parts of our lives as he does the brief moments of excitement. He is with us every step of the way, in every conversation regardless of the topic, in every game, chore, and responsibility. How effective might we be if we really learned to abide and consciously reflect on His presence in these moments - to let him shine in and through us in our everyday activities?

Working for a Christian based non-profit in another country does put me into a unique situation, and gives me a platform to share the importance of this cause, of these people, of what Christ is doing here in this ministry. The children here at Remember Nhu need to be recognized, to be supported, to be known. The precious people who find their home under this roof are saved from a horrific existence and I am blessed to be a part of their lives. But I am also realizing more and more that our responsibility exists everywhere and if we diminish that in the United States, we are doing a disservice to our own country. We are all called to live out the gospel, to care for the hurting people in our lives, and to share the good news regardless of our location.

I am so thankful that God is present in every moment of our normal lives. He is the true source of provision, of protection, of strength, affirmation, and every other good gift. Those gifts are available to all of us, to equip us to every good work. Only through Him can we live a life that is adventurous, daring, and holy. He has given us the desire for better than "normal" and only in Him can those desires be fulfilled.

Past the Initial Excitement

In keeping with my word, I wanted complete a blog this week, but I have been struggling with what to write about. I have been transitioning out of going to class everyday and trying to get into a new routine. The girls are back to school after their “summer break” and the house is again quiet during the day. Nhu and I are working out a regular schedule to study for three-(ish) hours every day, and I am starting to dig in on more business related work here.

This past week or two has been a struggle emotionally as I feel like I have gotten past the glamour and initial excitement of moving to another country and living on mission. The lack of community in my life has been building slowly over time, and I am realizing just how spoiled I was at my church with the myriad people and groups Solid Rock has to offer. I was never at a loss for amazing encouragers, mentors, and just contagiously awesome people. The lack of those people in my life on a regular basis has begun to drain me in a couple areas. I have really been feeling as though my patience and energy are starting to wear, not to mention the loneliness factor that has been setting in.

Fortunately, the last few days I feel like I am starting to break through that, and after attending a new church this morning (my third international church I’ve tried since arriving), I am REALLY EXCITED that I may have finally found a local church here that I can get connected with. I also made a point earlier this week to schedule regular Skype dates with a couple people and after having had some really good conversations (and laughing hysterically over a hilarious video that some of my friends back home put together), I am having a really great few days.

I think that this season of this journey will continue to test my ability to rely on the Lord and to turn to Him before anything else in my life. The things/people I have turned to in the past to fill the loneliness or to work through the struggle – that has all been stripped away in this environment, and though that transition is hard, I also realize how much I can grow through that. I am so grateful for God’s closeness in this time, and undeniably blessed that He himself has been teaching and encouraging me. Working on being thankful amidst growing pains and staying focused.

All that to say – I am kicking myself for making it about me when it is SO not about me :).  I am working to keep my mind off myself, and on Jesus and this ministry. Just a few short months ago my attitude was that of innocent excitement, a desire to make a difference in the lives of people here, and an overwhelming gratefulness that God had granted my desire to work internationally. Sometimes I just need to realize how much I have been given, how much I have been blessed, how COOL this time in my life is, and get back to that original attitude. I need to get over my momentary issues, stay focused on what really matters, live content in every circumstance and season, and say THANK YOU GOD!  

"In This World You Will Have Trouble..."

In the last few weeks I have been reflecting on the fact that I am confronted daily with circumstances of poverty, desperation, hardships, and people struggling through life - both here, and in stories from friends back home. Across the world, despite different cultures we all experience these things… I have been considering the thought “if God is good then why….”

I have often wondered, and had friends question, why He allows such atrocity and despair in this world, even among Christians. But that is just it – the Bible does not say that believers of Christ will have it easier than those who do not believe.

I do not have a complete answer yet as to why these things happen (I am studying though so if you are looking for an answer let me know) but I do know that the difference I see between the reaction in people who believe in Jesus and those who do not is hope. Not just a positive attitude about tomorrow or next year, or ten years from now. But the honest belief that the world is being renewed, that God is coming back and will wipe away every tear, that He is in control and has a plan, that ultimately this world is not all that there is. That this life is but a moment in the span of spending eternity with the true God of the Universe and that HE LOVES ME!

That hope, the knowledge of the good news of God’s grace brings joy that transcends circumstances. It somehow creates a spirit of gratefulness that overshadows present situations. Now don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t change how you I or the people here may feel when our world is crumbling. Those feelings are real and should not be diminished. Many people throughout history have cried out to God feeling just the same - disappointment, frustration, confusion, anxiety, heartache (Read Psalm 6 and 13). But at the same time, if you truly believe that God can save you from and out of all this – you WILL experience gratefulness and joy as well. Along with love, they are the truest, deepest, most lasting, rooted emotions that dwell in your heart when the Spirit of God is with you.

Hope, and Joy, but also Comfort… Living far away from my friends, my family, and my church has taught me to live day by day. Jesus is the God of all comfort and He promises never to leave, never to turn his back on us. He is always present, and will comfort all those who let Him. More and more I am finding this to be absolutely true in my life. And therefore, after experiencing this, how I wish that more would know the truth. That they themselves could be given new hope, new joy, new comfort – all of which will last for all eternity.

I realize that it may be impossible in a short blog to address such a huge and controversial topic, but it has been on my heart to write. I have actually recently acquired two different books that were written to address this question. Randy Alcorn’s “If God is Good Why Do We Hurt” and “The Problem of Pain” by CS Lewis.  I am sure these books will go so much deeper than I have even considered, but I do know this – Jesus said: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33

Chiang Mai FC – Nothing like professional sports to make you feel at home

I have now been to two professional soccer games since being here a few months. Soccer/Futbol throughout the world has such a huge following, and Thailand is no exception. Chiang Mai has its own team – ‘Chiang Mai FC’ – they aren’t very good, lost 10 out of the last 10 games they’ve played, but fun nonetheless J.

The last two times I have gone, it has literally been a little piece of home and reminds me of going to Timbers games in Portland. Just like home they have food (though the street vendors food tastes a bit different than at home), team colors, jerseys and random stuff for sale, and of course screaming crazy die-hard fans.

The game we went to a month or so ago was definitely a cultural experience. Though many things are the same, fans are even more intense (which is hard to imagine b/c Timbers fans in Oregon are pretty insane as it is). At the end of the game, we almost ran out thinking there was going to be a riot. The fans were convinced one of the referees was cheating and people were storming the front of the stands, threatening to come out on the field, people were throwing hundreds of water bottles out onto the field, and the whole situation was a bit crazy. We stayed back to be safe and eventually everyone calmed down. The mayor of Chiang Mai came out onto the field and fired the ref in front of everyone on the spot and then made a speech about how he would never let that happen again. Futbol - a very important political agenda J.

The game last night was so much fun. I went with Nhu, the house dad, and some of the other missionaries that are staying here. It had rained that afternoon and the field was soaked. The guys were literally sliding all over the place and splashing around. Then just after halftime it started raining again, not just a little drizzle – a full tropical monsoon. The athletes kept their heart and played in the puddles/wading pool all the way to the end– though I’m not quite sure it was the same game after the rain – the ball literally wouldn’t roll it would just float around the field and stop long before it normally would.

Don’t know what it is about sports, but attending these games really made me feel like I am a part of this community. Relaxing, playing around, having fun, and feeling “at home” in such a drastically different environment has really helped me settle into the reality of my life here. 

Hill Tribes

About 50% of the girls in R-Nhu’s childrens’ homes in Thailand come from the Hill Tribe villages in Northern Thailand. The villages have essentially a separate race – different ethnicity, language, and culture. I have been able to travel to a few different villages during my time here to help with some of the child interviews we do.

The villages provide such a contrast to life in the city here in Chiang Mai. Living in the second biggest city in Thailand, life often feels relatively comfortable. The city has markets, convenience stores, highways, and even luxuries if you are willing to pay. It is not America, but their economy is growing and doing alright. The hill tribes do not fall under that same description. Drive an hour or two outside the city, you begin to see what life is like for many people in this country. Grass huts with one-room homes, dirt roads, struggling to make a living and provide for your family.

These people are warm and welcoming, but many of them don’t speak Thai. The government doesn’t consider them Thai citizens even if they were born in the country and lived here their entire lives. The poverty is higher, the needs are greater, and it is easy to understand why these girls are at risk. People take advantage of the fact that they aren’t Thai citizens, that their family is barely making it. If anything goes wrong – a family illness or disability, a bad crop season or a big storm etc… it could be devastating.

 

After experiencing this firsthand, it reminds me exactly why I am here, why R-Nhu is here, and the importance of this cause. These children are precious, and when they are given a second chance, when their circumstances are altered, life will never be the same.  It is so easy to forget what is just under the surface, how fragile the balance is as they decide to come here. Grateful always for the reminder of how God has a plan for each of us. Jeremiah 29:11.

Songkran ~ Water Fighting to Celebrate the New Year

This post is REALLY late, and I again apologize for the delay in getting this up on the internet. I have told a few people now to keep me accountable in writing every weekend. So – as I post this, I am also uploading three others and will do my best to stay current from here on out. Thanks to all my faithful supporters for being patient with me! J

April 13-15th every year marks the Thai (and many parts of SE Asia due to the influence of the ‘Buddhist year’) New Years. To celebrate new years in times long past, the local people would travel to the temples to give offerings and be blessed by the monks. To symbolize their blessings and a cleansing ritual, the monks would pour a small cup of fragrant water on the person’s shoulder.

As with many holidays over the world – this tradition has morphed into something completely non-spiritual and Thai’s now celebrate new year by hosting the biggest most out of control water fight I have ever experienced. Everyone gets the entire week off of work (and school in my case), and on Thursday and Friday it is pretty much impossible to go anywhere without being soaked. I have been told that Chiang Mai’s party is even bigger than in other part’s of Thailand and that people come from all over Thailand – and foreigners come for the party. Furthermore, as a foreigner, you are a target for children who put ICE in their water to keep it freezing cold and pour it on you from big buckets or the super soakers that are sold in abundance all week.

Every few weeks I am given a weekend away from the Children’s home to get a mental and physical break. I requested that for April, I get the weekend of Songkran to see what all the fuss is about. J I stayed downtown in the heart of the city and on Friday met up with a group of about 10 other foreigners from all over the world. We walked all around the moat in Chiang Mai following the crowds of people. Imagine the number of people that flock into town for a parade, lining the streets, but instead of watching a parade, they literally are just soaking each other. Vendors come in in groves to host music stages and giveaways.

You learn very quickly to only travel in clothes that can be wet and to keep on you only your important belongings, preferably in a water proof pouch (also sold in abundance). In this picture it had just finished raining for an hour (it was about 75 deg). A little boy had just dumped an entire barrel (with the help of his friend) of freezing cold water over me, and then a guy walking buy added the chalk on my face – also a tradition coming from talcum powder that had been used to add fragrance to the water. Can you tell I am really cold!

Having fun, “soaking” up the culture here, and living life Thai style.

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!

Translating...

So it has been over a month since my last blog, and several people have been asking for updates. I guess I have been dragging my feet on it a bit because I feel like I am seeing, learning, and experiencing so much on a daily basis - it is hard for me to process those things seeing them first hand, much less communicating them to people back home. I feel like there is no way I can possibly do justice in translating those things.

In the last month I have been traveling throughout SE Asia and have seen so many things that literally are breaking my heart. I keep praying that I NEVER become calloused to those things, that I never become desensitized to the poverty, the desperation, the reality of these people's lives.

I want to share life with these people, it is a huge part of why I am here. To know them, to understand their stories, their hearts....
On that note ~ I have officially started my language class! We meet two hours a day, every day, for six weeks. Hoping to really get a good foundation that I can build on at home and over the course of the year.

Will try to post again very soon - exciting new topics of: Moto (buying a motorcycle) and Songkran (Thai New Year Festival) both next week!!!


<3, M