As someone who is a planner, and never really steps into a season before it has been fully planned out (I had my job at Enterprise lined up six months before I graduated) – I have had a strange peace about going home and having no idea what I am doing with my life. People may say that I am a ‘bum’ or that I am being irresponsible – but in my eyes, if there is one thing God has taught me this year, it is to trust Him in the unknown.
I have had a couple different ideas brewing in my mind of possible things that I can start looking into when I get back, but nothing concrete – all just potential potentials J. In some ways that has been good because it has allowed me to keep my focus here – to live in the moment with my kids while I still have time to do so.
THEN… last week I was re-reading a card that a friend from home sent me. She wrote: “You are an incredible example to me of someone living life by faith and daring to dream big with God.” The first time I read that, I had glossed over it as a nice thought from a good friend. The second time I read it – it sunk into my heart. I realized that I was not living up to this! I am here because I allowed myself to dream in the LORD last year and He moved in ways I would have previously thought impossible. Somewhere along the road this year, I had lost sight of that lesson, and had forgotten to trust God with things that seemed out of my reach. That morning, I began letting myself dream again - some reoccurring, some new or re-shaped.
I am now SO excited about some of the things that are in the works over the next few months. Lord Willing, I will be going on three short-term missions trips (Cambodia, Haiti, and back here to Thailand), and will be volunteering for the Missions Admin team at Solid Rock. I am excited to be based in America and plan to soak up time with friends, family, and church community. But I know that my heart still lies in international missions. The idea of being at home is energizing, but the idea of still being sent out is electrifying.
I have had a couple different ideas brewing in my mind of possible things that I can start looking into when I get back, but nothing concrete – all just potential potentials J. In some ways that has been good because it has allowed me to keep my focus here – to live in the moment with my kids while I still have time to do so.
THEN… last week I was re-reading a card that a friend from home sent me. She wrote: “You are an incredible example to me of someone living life by faith and daring to dream big with God.” The first time I read that, I had glossed over it as a nice thought from a good friend. The second time I read it – it sunk into my heart. I realized that I was not living up to this! I am here because I allowed myself to dream in the LORD last year and He moved in ways I would have previously thought impossible. Somewhere along the road this year, I had lost sight of that lesson, and had forgotten to trust God with things that seemed out of my reach. That morning, I began letting myself dream again - some reoccurring, some new or re-shaped.
I am now SO excited about some of the things that are in the works over the next few months. Lord Willing, I will be going on three short-term missions trips (Cambodia, Haiti, and back here to Thailand), and will be volunteering for the Missions Admin team at Solid Rock. I am excited to be based in America and plan to soak up time with friends, family, and church community. But I know that my heart still lies in international missions. The idea of being at home is energizing, but the idea of still being sent out is electrifying.
He is reviving me all over again and showing me that He can give me more than I can ever ask or imagine if I let HIM work out the details and stop worrying about how it's not possible. I find myself so blessed to serve a Master who delights in our joy and longs to bring glory to himself by giving us the desires of our heart, when our hearts are aligned with His. SOOO awesome ~ I feel so spoiled!
I still clearly don’t have everything figured out (a car and a job are still major prayer requests), but I know where my heart lies. I have direction regarding what is important to me, and everything else will just be details, and will probably change shape anyways as I re-transition back into life in the US.
Trusting Him, and excited to continue to step out in faith daring to dream…
awesome! thanks for posting these!
ReplyDeleteI'd imagine it must be rough coming back from a year of missions to transition back into what used to be life-as-usual. I intend to do missions in Bangkok for a year starting around May, but not sure what's going to happen after that yet. Over the past few months, God has been showing me that He may call me back to Jersey for full-time ministry of some kind.
great to hear how God is guiding you, though!
Thanks for sharing Megan. It really is powerful to see your walk with the Lord and how you are opening yourself up to His will for your life.
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