In keeping with my word, I wanted complete a blog this week, but I have been struggling with what to write about. I have been transitioning out of going to class everyday and trying to get into a new routine. The girls are back to school after their “summer break” and the house is again quiet during the day. Nhu and I are working out a regular schedule to study for three-(ish) hours every day, and I am starting to dig in on more business related work here.
This past week or two has been a struggle emotionally as I feel like I have gotten past the glamour and initial excitement of moving to another country and living on mission. The lack of community in my life has been building slowly over time, and I am realizing just how spoiled I was at my church with the myriad people and groups Solid Rock has to offer. I was never at a loss for amazing encouragers, mentors, and just contagiously awesome people. The lack of those people in my life on a regular basis has begun to drain me in a couple areas. I have really been feeling as though my patience and energy are starting to wear, not to mention the loneliness factor that has been setting in.
Fortunately, the last few days I feel like I am starting to break through that, and after attending a new church this morning (my third international church I’ve tried since arriving), I am REALLY EXCITED that I may have finally found a local church here that I can get connected with. I also made a point earlier this week to schedule regular Skype dates with a couple people and after having had some really good conversations (and laughing hysterically over a hilarious video that some of my friends back home put together), I am having a really great few days.
I think that this season of this journey will continue to test my ability to rely on the Lord and to turn to Him before anything else in my life. The things/people I have turned to in the past to fill the loneliness or to work through the struggle – that has all been stripped away in this environment, and though that transition is hard, I also realize how much I can grow through that. I am so grateful for God’s closeness in this time, and undeniably blessed that He himself has been teaching and encouraging me. Working on being thankful amidst growing pains and staying focused.
All that to say – I am kicking myself for making it about me when it is SO not about me :). I am working to keep my mind off myself, and on Jesus and this ministry. Just a few short months ago my attitude was that of innocent excitement, a desire to make a difference in the lives of people here, and an overwhelming gratefulness that God had granted my desire to work internationally. Sometimes I just need to realize how much I have been given, how much I have been blessed, how COOL this time in my life is, and get back to that original attitude. I need to get over my momentary issues, stay focused on what really matters, live content in every circumstance and season, and say THANK YOU GOD!
love your honesty! Love YOU.
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